HAVING SOMETHING SPECIAL!...

On top of me meeting amazing people from counseling and meetings, or catching up with family and friends whom I haven't seen or heard from in a long time, I have had the opportunity to meet this amazing person who I refer to as my favorite person. For a really, really long time I felt useless and unwanted. Like what could I possibly have to offer somebody especially with all of the things going on in my life. My past relationships were so insane and out of control that it made me not care or believe that there is somebody out there who could accept me especially with all my flaws. I mean OK nobody's perfect, but not everyone has all the drama and problems that I have. It was about two, two and a half months ago when me and my favorite person started talking. Right off the bat we had so much in common. He was the first person I turned around to and flat out said what was going on with me. The drugs, the kids, counseling, all the drama and didn't hold anything back. In all honesty I thought he would take off running, and maybe in the beginning I wanted him too. Thank God he didn't though because he has been there for me, ready to hear me vent about everything that goes on in my life. Do we hangout everyday NO, do we talk everyday YES and people are always quick to judge on how weird we handle our relationship but IT WORKS!... The only thing about the whole situation is that I have a big control problem. I over analyze everything and I second guess everything. He tell me all the time "Not to look for someone to complete me, but to look for someone who compliments me." I thought to myself wow that really makes sense and also thought he was a little crazy for saying it but I thinks that's because he was right!.. My guard has been up for a very long time, and to have somebody that can balance me out when I'm in a bad mood, and actually make me realize I am wrong in some situations without making me feel attacked is pretty amazing. But it's not easy either. I'm not use to having somebody acknowledge me and go out of their way to talk to me about counseling or court, or how blue the sky is today. We could talk about anything for hours. No judgement passed, maybe a little sarcasm but who doesn't love that. I find myself wanting to know more, and wanting to spend more time with him cause its fun. He's managed to take a place in my heart that I thought was dead and gone a long time ago. Truthfully I have no idea where this relationship is gonna go, or what will happen. But I look at it like "People are put in our lives for a reason" and what we have is something I will always cherish. There have been days where my self worth was as low as it could get, and I'm lucky not only because I get to have somebody in my life that I am interested in and admire, but he also accepts me for me! In the end if nothing came out it I would forever have a friend!