DEAR ADDICTION!!!!

As part of an exercise for outpatient i had to write a letter to my youngest two children's father. In doing so and after reading my letter i realized that not only was i talking to him but i was also talking to my addiction:

DEAR ADDICTION,

I am writing you this letter to explain to you why this will be the last time you will hear or see from me.
Over the years, i had become obsessed and completely consumed with your life. You had me right where u needed and wanted me to be. Knowing i would do anything and everything for you. Always leaving me trying to fix the damage you have done weather it was with family or friends. For some reason in your mind you consider this love. But ultimately destroying my views on love and relationships which leaves me not able to trust anyone and HATE YOU. You walk around with your head held high acting like your life is so great and you got nothing but good things going on, while my head is always faced down holding onto the guilt and shame i have for all of the things we have done to our kids and to all of the people who have tryed to help us numerous times. I sit there looking at pictures of our kids, and wonder why that little bag of dope always seemed so much more important. We were blessed with 3 beautiful, happy and healthy children who really just wanted our love and attention, and would do just about anything to get it. Meanwhile there are people out there who will never get the chance to have their own children, and would never choose a drug over their kids. I have so much hate towards you just for the fact that you have messed up repeatedly while i got back to the kids and kept you in the home. always telling the how much you missed them and couldn't wait to see them and you did nothing when you had the chance. When i relapsed, you should have been there. you should have been the one telling them how much i loved them and missed them and couldn't wait to see them. But like always you couldn't be bothered and once again it was left for my parents to do. Seriously "HOW DARE YOU!!". You're like a leech, you'll take and take and use as much of somebody you can. Stripping away all their pride and dignity. leaving them wondering what they did wrong when really those were your in tensions the whole time. FOR WHAT?
Today i am telling you I AM DONE. I will no longer be your victim, and no longer will you rape me emotionally. I will no longer allow you any chance in ruining mine or my children's lives anymore. I can no longer accept your calls, your texts, or your emails. I am no longer putting myself thru your pity parties where its all about you and everyone else is always wrong. I have to now make you invisible to me, or to anybody who has anything to do with me. By me doing this, it's not payback because you so called got your life together, or because you got a new girlfriend. It's so I can move on and have the life I deserve and the kind of life the kids deserve. For me this is my closure to you. I am finally ready and able to say GOODBYE.